I have always been more enamored by movies than I have been with television series. This is not a new admission as my friends have known this for years nor is it based on some sort of elitist mentality that somehow puts cinematic fare on a pedestal while relegating TV programs to the scrap heap. It is just merely a desire of mine to digest a narrative that has closure within a relatively terse two hour time span as compared to a serial that is broadcast over many months. That is not to say that I don’t appreciate an intricately woven story that weaves its magic over a longer period of time but just an observation of mine that what usually occurs to sustain such a show are a series of increasingly fantastical plot devices coupled with a copious amount of filler material that is so often undesirable.

Then again, most shows follow this trend, especially teen dramas and soap operas in general. I have to admit I am most definitely NOT included in the demographic of The CW’s newest teen hit, Gossip Girl but here I am watching it nonetheless. Based on the Gossip Girl series of books by Cecily von Ziegesar, the show features an omniscient narrator voiced deliciously with sarcastic smugness by Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) who reports like a teen version of the National Enquirer and Perez Hilton about the goings on at a local Upper East Side private school. Every rumor, scandal and fashion faux pas is gloriously outed on Gossip Girl’s home page, an address known and highly frequented by the school’s population. Truly, Kristen Bell does such a bang up job as the narrator it is almost criminal that you never get to see her as one would expect someone like her to wreak devastating havoc upon these rich brats.

The show itself centers on six main characters all of which are played by impossibly coifed teens in couture that will leave viewers gawking and a little bit jealous at all the extravagance in place. These people are suppose to be the elite of New York’s wealthy and it’s displayed at every turn from opulent mansions to chauffeured limousines to the requisite Ostroth Center where troubled members of this gang end up in therapy. If you ever imagined how Paris Hilton might live I suppose this show is as good as any to begin your journey to Neverneverland.

Actually, Peter Pan aside, the world of Gossip Girl is firmly rooted in magical fairy tales even if this uppity world exists it is highly unlikely that most will ever come close to peering into this world of excess and intrigue. This is an alternate world where status and appearance rule the day.

As the series opens we are introduced to former “it” bad girl, Serena Van der Woodsen, played with leggy free-spirited charm by Blake Lively, quietly sneaking back into New York from a long sojourn away from the elite. No one knew why she suddenly took off and left without even telling her best friend, Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester), but if there’s one constant in life, things change. With Serena out of the picture Blair has become the Queen B, a position she relishes with appropriate cattiness and not one she is willing to relinquish without an all out catfight. Further complicating things is Blair’s great love, Nathaniel Archibald (Chace Crawford), who harbors secret feelings for Serena and his best friend Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) a particularly sly sleazy chap who dresses in loud spiffy attire than would send Liberace into a fit of glee and who lives only to party and bed the opposite sex and you have the beginnings of an incredibly eclectic mix of teens whose stories are rife with a myriad of possibilities.

Co-creator Josh Schwartz is no stranger to teen drama and though his name might not be familiar to most his previous show, The OC, most definitely is. The OC was “the” teen show only a scant few years ago that showcased the opulent lifestyle of the West Coast before losing its direction and taking a dive into TV’s graveyard of forgotten shows. With Gossip Girl he’s more of less successfully transplanted some of the core elements of The OC into the East Coast environment but some of the similarities are not just skin deep.

First and foremost, he’s boosted the adult quotient whereas the books more or less ignore them. In a case that feels too much like the relationship between Seth and Sandy Cohen, Schwartz has recreated that playful sardonic vibe again this time with a family from Brooklyn headed by Rufus Humphrey (Matthew Settle), a one time rock and roller from the 90s and his son, Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley) who has the annoying propensity of talking nonstop much like Seth in The OC. Schwartz has yet another situation that easily juxtaposes the difference in culture and class between those that have and those that want. In his previous show he managed to build much empathy for his supposed lead in Ryan who comes from a broken family by turning him into an adopted son with the wealthy Cohen clan thus leading him to encounter the extravagant lifestyle of the rich and famous.

This time around he’s got Dan Humphrey and his sister Jenny (Taylor Momsen) as have nots who manage to go to this upper class private school solely based on their father’s will and determination to give them the best education that he can afford on his meager salary. Of course this leads both of them to be outcasts amongst these children of wealth a fact not lost on each of them although they both take different tacts. Dan shuns the crowd, content to be a poet and considers himself above the fray whereas his sister Jenny decides that she wants “in” and soon finds herself doing anything to increase her popularity.

The Humphrey family initially starts as the easiest entry point into this surreal world as seen through the eyes of outsiders but the show begins to grind by revealing a common romantic past between Rufus and Lily Van Der Woodsen, Serena’s mother. Making matters worse, other parents are all seen to be totally devoid of morality as well given credence to the phrase, “The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.” In fact, every time the show begins to focus on the adults it begins to drag especially since it goes over the same material over and over again until the audience really doesn’t care.

For a show based on humanity’s naughtier, more debased side, the show is surprisingly meek even though morality is often thrown to the wolves. This is a show that features copious amounts of drinking, drugs, sex, strip clubs, gambling, rape and extortion. Now, it’s never gratuitous in showing the actual acts except for a lot of lips connecting and hot petting of skin but the acts are undeniably there. What makes things feel more uncomfortable is that this is a high school meaning everyone should be 18 years or younger and I can’t help but feel a certain sense of unease – Hey, look at Jenny she looks so frackin’ hot in those bright pink leggings and high heels strutting her behind down the street! OMG, she’s only 15?? It makes one feel like some sort of pervert and makes me hope that girls that age don’t really dress like this.

On the other hand, although I am far removed from high school, I can’t help but nod my head in silent agreement that many of these issues these characters harbor are very real and salient to teens nowadays. Maybe not all of them at once or else I’d say our children would be in very big trouble as would our entire society. Still, you can’t help but at least begrudgingly affirm that there’s nothing here in the show that you can’t see in reality just not to the degree that is shown.

Actually, I for one am a bit surprised that if one watches the whole season that I was quietly expecting even more smut and degradation but I found that the show runners never pushed that cart too far, most times only to make an ethical point which, while applauded, didn’t make a whole lot of sense. Blair is the show’s Alexis Carrington, someone who schemes and backstabs anyone she sees that displeases her but the show never has the wherewithal to see a plot point to the logical conclusion, seemingly content to wrap things up in a nice red ribbon of sappiness. Every time someone is betrayed, it doesn’t take more than an episode or two for things to go back to “normal” and everyone involved is pardoned. Take Serena’s indiscretion with sleeping with Nate, Blair’s boyfriend since kindergarten or Blair’s subsequent infidelity with Chuck. All I know is that if that happened to me I would go punch my fist through the nearest wall. Instead, we are treated to groan inspiring dialogue whereby all involved make up and pretend that nothing happened.

The show makes a half-hearted attempt to highlight bad influences and their potential pitfalls but it never punishes any of these characters nor even gives the audience an inkling that they are learning important lessons.

This lack of education is what I call the “Worf Syndrome.” Now, I sincerely doubt anyone reading a review on Gossip Girl would expect a Star Trek reference but here it is and unlike some other diehard fans I know, I can easily skewer my favorite science fiction show whenever needed. Worf is a character on Star Trek The Next Generation who my friends and I constantly joked about as having a block of wood for brains. From nearly the first episode to the last seven years later, he displayed an unwavering mentality for recommending shooting first and asking questions later. Every time our crew encountered alien races he’d invariably offer his opinion to raise shields and power up weapons….just in case. While this might seem prudent, he was never right and always discounted. Even after he learned through many episodes to calm down and let his warrior instincts slide he always came across as a dunderhead since he never appeared to grow as a character.

Unfortunately, Gossip Girl suffers from the same case of, “Worf Syndrome.” Characters are painfully thrown into turmoil seemingly every episode but they rarely come out of it with true wisdom. One night of hot sex leads to another to yet another without regard for consequences and, of course, when the requisite pregnancy test comes back negative everyone sighs relief and then jumps back in the sack. Many people are backstabbed, tricked or cajoled into embarking on stupid flights of fancy but rarely do people get their just deserts.

Like most shows that center on a set number of leads, Gossip Girl feels like an apt amalgamation of spin the bottle and musical chairs as partners come and go. You almost wish everyone got it over with in one big frenzied orgy but that would of course never pass the censors. The season finale itself just about undoes the relationships built up throughout the entire year in a smorgasbord that includes every plot device known to man but in doing so makes the viewer feel cheated almost as if they’ve wasted the entire season before Schwartz decided to hit the reset button.

Undoubtedly, the show's biggest strength is its look and I don’t mean just the fashion. The couture on display coupled with the incredible makeup and hair design make everyone of these characters, even Dan and Jenny Humphrey, look like they’ve just stepped off a shoot for Vogue magazine. I suppose you can call it a running gag when Blair or Jenny gets out of bed or sits at the breakfast table looking as if they are about to walk the fashion runway but it’s way too distracting.

The show almost seems like one long commercial created to sell men’s and women’s fashions. There’s no doubt everyone is immaculately attired right down to the smallest baubles and hair bands. Kudos goes to the wardrobe department in that regard and this in no small way has contributed to the show’s appeal although one wonders if a quick perusal of the Internet would garner more information than what is on display here.

Subsequently, everyone just looks too damn handsome or overtly sexual but at least the show is self-conscious enough to know what it is. That is in effect, the show’s greatest asset. The show runners like Josh Schwartz know they aren’t creating Shakespearean level drama or dialogue here.

This is Sex and the City for the teen crowd replete with pounding tunes from hot artists like Rihanna or even slightly lesser known artists Peter, Bjorn and John (Young Folks) jamming away in the background as pretty boys and girls flash before the camera. In that respect it doesn’t matter really what they say or who they are with. The characters themselves are wholly flat and easily pigeonholed into their respective roles and they never change. Blair begins as the resident b*tch and ends that way. Conversely, Chuck is the smarmy dude with an evil glint in his eye and by the season finale he’s still got that same haughty look. This might work well as a book for young teens who dream of being whisked away into a fairy tale world but I can’t see this running for umpteen seasons if something doesn’t fundamentally happen to change these people.

However, although the show should collapse upon itself due to the vast degree of melodrama, smut and clichés it somehow manages to stay afloat due to sly wit that manages to pop up in unexpected instances and a few performances that manage to scintillate and rise above the prosaic material. Blake Lively in the lead role of Serena manages to glow in most of her scenes endowing her character with manic energy even as her narrative arc plods along and eventually veers into abject schmaltziness. Nevertheless, it’s no cliché when one says that it’s the villains who get the real meaty roles and Gossip Girl is no exception. Both Leighton Meester as Blair and Ed Westwick as Chuck just dominate scenes with their total malevolence, in Westwick’s case, using almost piercing leers to convey his true intentions. In fact, all of the characters that have more of a moral compass are requisitely dull by comparison to our antiheroes, rarely contributing to narratives other than to quote prophetic or demonstrate their tenuous ethical superiority.

Needless to say logic sometimes takes a backseat precisely whenever it interferes with the plot. Case in point young Jenny is about to be date-raped so she texts her brother who is on the other side of town. Sure, she’s young and in a tough position but texting her brother on a cell phone in hopes he’ll arrive while her pursuer is literally right next to her? I can suspend disbelief only so far. Yet, this is precisely setup like this so that Dan can have his white knight moment and teach the intended architect a lesson with his fist.

Josh Schwartz is no stranger to this genre but he seems to have learned some hard lessons from The OC. That show started with a bang but quickly fizzled and ran out of gas as it meandered through dimly constructed arcs that appeared within the first breakout season (I’m looking at you, Oliver!). Gossip Girl doesn’t so much as charge out of the gate but merely gently trots along content in its own whims but it manages to avoid The OC’s pitfalls especially those in the later seasons that change the focus of the show away from the initial fish out of water scenario. If nothing else, Gossip Girl is the epitome of a guilty pleasure with just enough allure to keep you watching. Parents are going to hate this and rightly so but I very much doubt that it will keep its target audience from tuning in.

Till next season. XOXO. Gossip Girl.

**1/2 out of ****

Created By Stephanie Savage & Josh Schwartz
Based on the Gossip Girl series of books by Cecily von Ziegesar

Serena van der Woodsen: Blake Lively
Blair Waldorf: Leighton Meester
Dan Humphrey: Penn Badgley
Nate Archibald: Chace Crawford
Jenny Humphrey: Taylor Momsen
Chuck Bass: Ed Westwick
Lily van der Woodsen: Kelly Rutherford
Rufus Humphrey: Matthew Settle
Gossip Girl: Kristen Bell
Vanessa Abrams: Jessica Szohr

© 2009 The Galactic Pillow

Heroes Season One, while it had some rough spots, was not only a shining example of science fiction done right but had enough thrills, chills and plot twists to rival the best TV has to offer. It deftly juggled a multitude of characters all the while infusing them with enough humanity and gumption to keep audiences enamored as fans lit up forums in an attempt to decipher all the show's mysteries. In this sense it was a phenomenon very much like the first season of Lost, another science fiction ensemble show that premiered to great acclaim. Although the season ended with a rather clunky mishandling of the cliffhanger, hopes were high that Heroes would continue to present compelling storylines in its sophomore season.

The unfortunate answer is that it did not. In fact, it took just about everything commendable and established in the first season and proceeded to tear them down one by one leaving audiences aghast at some of the poorly implemented story elements and stylistic choices that did nothing but confuse and frustrate. Some of this can be blamed on 2007’s writer’s strike that basically paralyzed Hollywood and led to many shows having truncated seasons. Originally scheduled for a full season run of 24 episodes, Season 2 of Heroes became stunted and forced to end at episode 11. This gives the season an incredibly off kilter pacing as storylines are forced into premature resolution.

Still, this constitutes only part of the problem. It is evident from the season premiere that creator Tim Kring and his writing staff have tried to generate more intrigue by basically fast forwarding the show four months after the end of Season One. That, in of itself, is not an inherently bad idea but in doing so, instead of adding to the building mythos it totally deconstructs and resets whole character arcs so much so that it becomes jarring and adds too much confusion for the audience to grasp or follow. Some of the main characters are not even introduced until many episodes into the season while others are unceremoniously written off the show entirely.

While the entire narrative thrust of the first season culminated in the heroes all converging on a specific location and acting in concert to avert disaster, season two callously rends them apart once more. It’s a bit of a stretch that these neophyte heroes would even go their separate ways on their own accord once they find others who, like them, are becoming more at ease with their super powers. You would think the first reaction would be to stay together to try and figure out their collective place in the universe.

All the characters undergo some truly odd and awkward transitions in their new storylines. Season one standouts Hiro and Claire actually suffer the most by being saddled with pointless meandering plots that, especially in the case of Hiro, seem totally disconnected to the main narrative of the season. Admittedly, there is a surprise in his narrative arc that attempts to bring disparate plots together but it comes off as wholly manufactured and, even worse, totally unconvincing. Claire however, spends the season reenacting almost the very same storyline she had in the first season as she perpetually butts heads with her dad while suddenly finding love at her new high school. What follows is a silly teen romance ripped from the pages of The O.C. with an added dash of Smallville. Why? Because her new boyfriend has the power of flight. You’d think his name was Clark Kent although he lacks any sort of sense whatsoever as he decides to fly around in broad daylight even though he does not want anyone to discover his secret.

Other core characters don’t fare much better such as super-powered Peter Petrelli and Sylar both of which are again saddled with arcs that take forever to get going. In Peter’s case the writers seem so bereft of ideas that they pull out the oldest trick in the book by making him lose his memory and then shipping him off to Ireland to fall in love with a local lass. Season one supreme bad guy Sylar comes off even worse. Stripped of all his powers he does nothing but glower menacingly at newcomers Maya and Alejandro who are some of the blandest characters ever to be introduced on network television. This trio spends the entire eleven episodes on an exasperatingly dull road trip from Central America to New York. We barely get to know them at all and even when we are given a hint of a back story the writers decide enough is enough and off one of them in one of the most anticlimactic fashions ever devised.

Both Mohinder and Niki are almost criminally underused in season 2 but this is not such a bad decision since when they do appear they seem to have lost all sense of logic and, even worse, been infected with a virulent strain of the stupids. How else would you explain Mohinder cozying up to The Company and betraying his friends? Niki is a whole different story as it is painfully obvious that the show runners have little inkling on how to move her character forward. This stance is ultimately revealed when they finally decide on a direction during the season finale.

Another new character is introduced by the name of Monica who so happens to be related to Niki and her son Micha and although her power to mimic anything she sees shows signs of progress, again the execution falls far below expectations.

About the only character who actually shows promise from season one is Matt Parkman who begins to expand his powers while finding the time to raise young Molly. He becomes the most humanistic caring figure and one can easily identify with his struggles especially when he soon comes to heads with his father who abandoned him when he was a mere pup. The other plus is the inclusion of ex-Veronica Mars alum, Kristen Bell who plays a character much unlike the chirpy teen sleuth that gained her fame. Her character, Elle, comes off as being playfully sadistic and seemingly lacking a moral compass. It’s a shame she is so underused. One can hope we see more of her interacting with the other heroes in the next season.

Making matters worse is that the season contains a wide variety of plot holes, strange logic and a lack of overall tension. Season one worked so well in part because it distilled every plotline into the simple catch phrase of, “Save the cheerleader, save the world.” Nearly everything revolved around this giving the characters a razor sharp motivation to extend their efforts. Season two squanders many hours before revealing the major narrative thrust of a virus that would be released with the potential to wipe out 93% of the world population. However, this is revealed much too late and then, because of the writer’s strike, all together truncated so it never feels anywhere as calamitous a proposition than the nuclear bomb going off in season one even though the stakes are higher.

As everyone knows I am a big Star Trek fan. As Trek grew and grew and grew and more series were made the show runners realized that the amount of Trek lore, technological jargon and history was beginning to become unwieldy. In order to attempt to keep errors to a minimum they had a team of people whose only job was the make sure new episodes did not contradict older ones. The team sought out these problems and informed the writers if any violations were found.

Heroes only had one full season under its belt but it is amazing how the show runners run smack head first into problems with their own mythology and guidelines. In fact, there appears to be no such guidelines in place. Part of showcasing a super hero is also showing their Achilles heel (i.e. for Superman it was kryptonite) or at least thoroughly explaining the extent of their superpowers. The show doesn’t even bother to create boundaries leaving the viewer constantly scratching their heads wondering, “I didn’t know it worked like that.”

Looking at new character Monica is one such example. Here you have a character that can mimic any action she sees. Therefore, if she sees a wrestling match she can suddenly replicate the complicated move with precision. We see her later learning martial arts and this finally culminates with her receiving a video iPod filled with many useful moves just in case she gets into trouble.

The problem is we, as the viewer, have no idea how her power actually works as it is never explained in any detail. Once she sees it does she always remember or does she naturally forget? It might not sound like a major problem but the show doesn’t even make an attempt to enlighten us.

Later in the show Monica has a chance to basically illegally enter a house and steal a stack of valuable comics. We immediately see her turn on her iPod and watch video of someone doing parkour up to the second floor of a house. This gives Monica the ability and she proceeds to follow suit. However, we run smack dab into a conundrum. Her power is absolute mimicry yet the house in the video is not the same house she has to burgle. As the episode progresses she is captured but this raises another issue. If she only has to see something once in order to mimic it then why didn’t she watch the whole wealth of video on the iPod before she did anything? Wouldn’t it make more sense to be totally prepared? After all, it is quite clearly shown that many hours pass before she has the guts to do the deed. This is what occurs when you don’t write firm rules and it gives the impression that the writers are just winging it and making it all up on the spot.

That’s not to say that season two doesn’t have any redeeming qualities. The production values are still excellent and some of the story elements are decent but there are unfortunately more misses than hits. Take for instance poor Ando, Hiro’s best friend and constant buddy from season one. Just about everywhere Hiro went Ando was with him and part of the charm was watching the duo get into and out of tough predicaments. Season two keeps both friends apart by sending Hiro back in time and keeping Ando in the present. This is not so bad until you realize that all Ando is doing this time is sitting in his office or lab and reading out loud about Hiro’s exploits in the past. Talk about a waste of a character.

There’s also the problem with Claire’s blood which suddenly has become the Holy Grail of cures. Although we know she has regenerative powers we see her blood becoming a massive plot point and even in some cases, being able to bring people back from the dead. I don’t know about you but if someone were ever found to be like Claire everyone in the world would be clamoring for drops of her plasma. This also complicates the story since it gives the writers an easy way out to explain horrific injuries to major characters. Not to mention, you’d think some villain or evil country would want to capture her and just hook her up to a blood extracting machine for the rest of her life to manufacture this miracle cure. Hmmm, maybe a plot for a future season?

Season one was blessed with a wonderfully sadistic villain in Sylar but due to his loss of power he’s reduced to window dressing. His replacement is the enigmatic Adam Monroe who is one of the least threatening villains ever to be conceived. This brings us to another issue with Season two in that many heroes find out they share the same super power. Anyone who reads comic books will realize that there is some overlap in this regard but for a show entering only its second year the extreme lack of imagination is glaring as there’s not even a hint of difference in some cases. Take Nathan Petrelli who can fly and then Claire’s new boyfriend, West, who, also can fly. How about Adam Monroe’s regeneration skill which is the exact skill Claire is endowed with? In this case why doesn't anyone capture Adam and use his blood instead? This strips away some of the allure from these characters and gives the impression that these traits are common amongst all these enhanced humans.

In the end, Season two is a huge comedown in quality from season one so much so that it almost completely torpedoes the franchise. Thankfully, the characters, although damaged, still retain their inherent qualities that endeared them to viewers. It will be up to Tim Kring and his writing staff to hopefully think things through and get the show back on track for season 3. If not, viewers will continue to turn the channel and Heroes will end up being a one season wonder. At this rate you almost hope they pull a Dallas and tell everyone that last season was just a dream.

*1/2 out of ****

2007, USA
Created by Tim Kring

Peter Petrelli: Milo Ventimiglia
Nathan Petrelli: Adrian Pasdar
Hiro Nakamura: Masi Oka
Claire Bennet: Hayden Panettiere
Mohinder Suresh: Sendhil Ramamurthy
Matt Parkman: Greg Grunberg
Ando Masahashi: James Kyson Lee
Niki Sanders: Ali Larter
Noah Bennet: Jack Coleman
Sylar: Zachary Quinto
Angela Petrelli: Cristine Rose
Sandra Bennet: Ashley Crow
Micah Sanders: Noah Gray-Cabey
The Haitian: Jimmy Jean-Louis