I am not a gambler nor have I ever been even remotely interested in learning the trade. It is not that I deem it sinful but rather I have no interest in it whatsoever. For entertainment I’d rather curl up with a book, watch a movie or play video games till my eyes bleed. That is not to say I can’t guess what it might feel like to win big or to beat the house. I’m sure gamblers get a natural high and who wouldn’t be elated if they risked and won.

21 is based on a true story of a team of MIT students who beat the casinos at their own game. Obviously, the movie takes many liberties with the source material but the core elements are basically the same. Jim Sturgess, fresh off his singing in the Beatles’ inspired Across the Universe, is Ben Campbell, an incredibly gifted though introverted young man, who stands one step away from attaining his dream of attending Harvard medical school. The problem – he needs $300,000 to pay his tuition. Ben and his two best friends are basically geeks who spend their days designing for an upcoming technology competition while ogling women from afar.

Enter his Professor, Mickey Rosa, played with his usual gusto by Kevin Spacey. Rosa identifies Ben as having a quick calculating mind and invites him to join his shadowy gang of blackjack players. His team is well honed and versed in card counting techniques that, when coupled with team strategy, is well placed to fleece casinos of their money. At first Ben is repulsed by such an offer but eventually relents as he sees no possible avenue in which he can raise his tuition funds.

21 glides along with a quick pace during the initial acts as Ben slowly becomes consumed with his double life of being a nobody back in Boston while living the high life in Vegas. Once shy with principles he’s quickly sucked into the gambling culture and its excesses. Previously content with ill fitting suits he soon finds himself shopping at Prada and wearing impeccably tailored outfits with obligatory dark shade sunglasses. As the team keeps on rolling Ben finds himself developing an intimate friendship with fellow team member Jill Taylor, played by Kate Bosworth, while butting heads with former hot shot Jimmy (Jacob Pitts). These parts of the film are well paced and the audience is truly piqued to see how this team and their strategies might play out at the tables.

Then a funny thing happens to the film as it enters the midway point as issues that at first appeared to be oversights quickly become logically jarring. For a team of incredibly intellectually gifted people there are many actions they undertake that would make even the biggest of idiots scratch their heads. Now, I’m no expert at “cheating the system” but I would take it that staying incognito is a primary goal. Instead, as Ben falls deeper down the rabbit hole he becomes over flamboyant and draws attention to himself wherever he goes in Vegas. Attendants, dealers, waitresses, all know his alias the moment he walks through the casino doors. This applies to his team members as well. Though it is mentioned more than once, the team’s idea of a disguise is basically a different shade of Prada attire.

Concurrently, the team keeps hitting the same casinos in Vegas. They never go anywhere else or to another city to ply their skills. This obvious oversight comes back to haunt them as their actions begin to arouse the suspicion of Cole Williams (Laurence Fishburn), a casino security advisor who suspects the fix is on. Just how smart can you be if you keep trying to rip off the same casino? Making matters worse is Professor Rosa’s past which is revealed to involve Cole Williams losing a previous job. I can understand that the lure of fast cash is enough to make grown men drunk with greed but when you have heavies after you I really doubt you’d take the chance to piss the same security staff off when you are a marked man.

Also, instead of playing it safe and winning smaller amounts of cash, the team keeps going for the “big payouts” easily racking up hundreds of thousands of dollars in a small amount of time. One would think everyone in the team winning small amounts would not attract much attention.

Ben himself also has immense lapses of reason. As his earnings begin to pile up he finds no better place for his stash of hard cash then in the ceiling above his bed. I’m sure banks and the IRS might be alerted if he kept depositing hundreds of thousands of dollars into an account but surely there are better ways to keep the cash then a ceiling. How about a safe deposit box for starters?

Even though the actual scheme is glossed over the film does a good job in pulling the audience in for the ride. It is not necessary to know the minute details of card counting other than it being a way to increase your odds of winning. The film does however, not show them losing until key plot points which is odd as there is no way their scheme can make them win 100% of the time – it is based on statistics that increase chance not eliminate it.

All these elements add up to the Hollywoodization of the original book. It’s obvious that the filmmakers here have decided to glitz up a story that, while fascinating, does not translate into a big blockbuster. Of course, it can’t follow the book that much as in reality it was a team of mostly Asians conning the casinos and I doubt Hollywood would want a cast of all Orientals. Director Robert Luketic, he of Legally Blonde fame, decides to shoot the film with a lot of montages and slow motion photography that lingers much too long on cards flying around the table. In a movie about playing blackjack it seems like a pedestrian way to show tension although seeing slowly spinning and flipping cards is not exactly spine tingling. Location shooting shows the film’s intended narrative dichotomy between Boston’s cold and grey skies and vibrant Las Vegas as colours of neon flash all around.

Still, the movie chugs along and the audience remains mildly interested at how the story will inevitably play out since all the actors appear to be sincere. Sturgess makes a sympathetic hero although he’s considerably helped by veterans Spacey and Fishbourne who dominate every single scene they are in. Just watching the younger actors in juxtaposition with the two veterans is fascinating as they almost seem reserved in comparison to the screen presence emanating from the more mature thespians. Not fairing so well is Kate Bosworth and the movie’s romantic angle that appears too wholly tacked on to the narrative in order to provide the needed love interest. The relationship goes from dry to hot in a couple of montage sequences and we’re never given a compelling reason why she falls for him. In fact, one can conclude that she succumbs to his charms after he lets the Vegas high-roller life over take him – not exactly a winning start for a serious relationship.

Fishbourne makes a menacing loss prevention security advisor but I was more intrigued with whether or not Vegas still remained basically lawless – taking suspects into the cellar and beating them into a bloody pulp might have been true back then but does it still occur nowadays? I thought casinos that are privately owned could just throw anyone out they thought was cheating. Maybe I can dig deeper into that but the interrogation sequences seem to have been ripped out of a Martin Scorsese flick.

The end result feels like it is only very loosely based on the original book with too many artistic differences that jazz up both the plot and the visual flair of the material. Indeed the bright lights of Vegas make for a more compelling image than some dive in the middle of Chicago. Nevertheless, director Robert Luketic and the screenwriters take this too far adding multiple double crosses, betrayals and even managing to shoehorn in a chase through a crowded casino. This is far too much excess for such a simple story that owes its success to statistics 101.

** out of ****

2008, USA, 123 minutes, PG-13, Columbia
Directed by Robert Luketic
Screenplay by Peter Steinfeld, Allan Loeb
Based on a book by Ben Mezrich
Produced by Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca, Kevin Spacey
Executive Producer: William S. Beasley, Ryan Kavanaugh, Brett Ratner
Original Music by David Sardy
Cinematography by Russell Carpenter
Film Editing by Elliot Graham

Ben Campbell:Jim Sturgess
Prof. Micky Rosa: Kevin Spacey
Jill Taylor: Kate Bosworth
Choi: Aaron Yoo
Kianna: Liza Lapira
Jimmy Fisher: Jacob Pitts
Cole Williams: Laurence Fishburne

© 2009 The Galactic Pillow

Stone of Destiny is yet another one of those “hidden object” offerings that seem so prevalent in casual gaming. The concept whereby the player finds certain items that have been skillfully superimposed onto a drawn or digital piece of art is harmless enough but there comes a point when one wonders if this constitutes more than a rudimentary level of gaming.

As per games of this genre, story doesn’t’ really matter although the game does its best to make a stab at it by presenting narrative sections every so often that unfold through comic book panels. It turns out your uncle has gone missing and it is up to you to roam the world in an effort to track him down. This is a nice treat until you realize the absolute thinnest justification for the game boils down to, “I came to a dead end and lo and behold a puzzle awaited me!” Still, the game gets marks for going the extra mile to try and tie it all together.

The game boasts that it has 25 levels of find the object game play which is stretching the truth as you have to redo levels twice and sometimes it makes the same mistakes other games of this genre do in asking you to find many of the same items you did before. Seriously, is it so hard to write code that doesn’t pick items it has tasked you to find previously on the same stage?

However, there’s a much larger problem here that almost completely derails the game. The success of these find the hidden object games hinges on how well the items you seek are integrated into the background images. Unlike other entries in this genre, Stone of Destiny employs real photos of places and objects instead of hand-drawn art. With some good Photoshop skills this makes it easier for the items to blend into the backgrounds but the developer makes the fatal mistake of only giving you one zoom in setting that doesn’t really magnify enough. Although there is a hint timer feature included it is extremely frustrating when you have to squint like some sort of madman in order to find some of the more obscure objects, some of which, are literally only pixels large. Without the hint button you’d take hours finding these. There is a timer counting down so you can’t rely on using hints only but I never once got close to the timer running out. Conversely, you can’t tap the screen randomly trying to find objects as it will cause your timer to quickly decrease.

I also encountered weird quirks every now and then as the items the game presented to me to find were right next to one another. The game also sends you around the world but in a rather unintentional (or not) fashion the names of the stages sometimes will make you guffaw. I can’t remember the exact words but one was called the Den of Hell or something that had the word Hell in it and it turned out to be a picture of a regular wooden house. No sight of the Devil or his minions could sadly be found nor anything remotely evil for that matter. Maybe the developer was trying to make a social-economic statement that suburbia was hellish?

Perhaps it was also just my iPhone and I haven’t been able to test this on another unit or iPod Touch but whenever I zoomed into an image and moved the screen left and right the frame rate would chug as the game stuttered. An unintended side effect of this choppiness is that for a brief moment you could discern the background moving faster than the pasted on objects. This highlighted the items you needed to find making it a bit of a cheat to discover them.

The developer wisely tries to break the monotony of finding objects with a few game play additions. After finding all the objects at a particular location you are presented with what amounts to a game of trace. A symbol is displayed on screen which you must replicate using your finger over the iPhone’s touch screen. Some of these are simple shapes while later on they can get a bit more complex. This new mode might seem novel the first few times you do it but it quickly becomes more of a distraction as I found the input method to be strangely inaccurate as I could complete some complex symbols in one attempt while taking forever to do simple ones. On a less enjoyable note these complex symbols you are making do have a meaning as you see them later in the game in one of the most annoying levels I’ve seen. Without going into spoilers all I’ll say is that level doesn’t even have a zoom function making things really hard to spot.

There are also some rudimentary puzzle levels that pop up from time to time. Although none were particularly difficult I found them much more enjoyable than tracing symbols. There’s your typical move these stones from one peg to another based on their size section and also a level where you have to move coffins trapped in a maze.

Played in short bursts there’s some fun to be had here and at least the developer has attempted to add a few new elements to try and spice things up but the problem is that the core game play comes off as nothing more than average. With no incentives for replay and a less than desirable zoom function the developer succeeds in hampering the experience even further. Although this game is a port of a PC installment it’s obvious that the translation was rushed as these quirks could have easily been fixed. Perhaps the developer will take some of the lessons learned here and employ them in future offerings.

** out of ****

Developed by: Voodoo Dimension
Published by: Voodoo Dimension
Released: 9/30/2008
Version: 1.2
Size: 22.8 MB

© 2009 The Galactic Pillow

As one of the highest profile titles to be released on the iPhone, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, has been subjected to much scrutiny. Will this be the iPhone’s killer app? The pedigree of the license cannot be called into question although there have also been many games based on this franchise that have suspect quality.

Taking place between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed puts you in control of Darth Vader’s secret apprentice tasked to hunt down and destroy the remaining Jedi. Vader also harbors deeper Machiavellian plans to overthrow the emperor and seize control of the empire and his apprentice is the tool in which his plans may come to fruition.

With a story that has more or less been blessed by creator George Lucas himself the game carries the potential of more narrative heft as it has the ability to bridge the two trilogies and fill in much needed gaps in the storyline. Then again, if you are playing solely for plot you might be better served buying the console version of the game as it fleshes things out much better than this mobile edition.

Storyline aside, what will make or break this game is not witty or revealing dialogue but rather its core game play. First off, know exactly what you are getting into here – this is a 100% on-rails action game. All the locations and settings are made up of pre-rendered, albeit, highly detailed art.

You do not control the apprentice in a traditional sense as players are given no ability to maneuver him or his limbs in any direction. Once given a short description of the current mission the apprentice will appear on screen and move in a predetermined path through the level. Players only have direct control over which force powers he employs. This is inputted using the iPhone’s touch screen and using preprogrammed finger strokes or symbols that define each individual power. For instance swiping with two fingers over the screen from left to right activates force lightning while swiping two fingers from top to bottom is force pull. Therefore, the player just needs to decide which force power to employ at any given time.

The game does make an effort to add some extra strategy by making some powers have limited range but it doesn’t take much brain power to realize which power is needed at any given time.

Enemies range from generic storm troopers to AT-AT Imperial walkers and an assortment of force users. The larger array of enemies for what amounts to a cell phone game is a plus but their AI routines seem stuck in the Neanderthal period. Storm troopers will regularly do nothing but frontal assaults or just hang back and shoot while standing rooted to one spot.

Even the bosses lack complex strategy as the way to defeat them is telegraphed too easily. Some of these are actually unintentionally funny such as the Jedi master killed by always walking under a giant Venus Fly trap mutant plant. It’s a wonder how this particular master survived this long in the first place if they are moronic enough to perpetually fight you while standing underneath a carnivorous monster.

The touch screen commands work very well and thankfully the developers don’t force the player to draw symbols too complex to activate force powers. There is a bit of a learning curve but after one level you’ll more or less have it down pat. After the successful completion of a level the apprentice usually gains at least one new force power and, with the exception of one that seems pretty useless, are needed in future levels.

However, this brings up the game’s biggest hurdle – its incredible brevity. This is one short game with only six levels. The actual playtime to complete will range from 60-75 minutes depending on your skill level and that’s including the cut scenes that advance the story.

Considering when I bought this it was $9.99 that’s a pretty hefty cost to game play ratio. Replay value is exceeding low as the difficulty level is almost non-existent. After completion you do get access to survival mode but this won’t hold your attention for more than a few extra minutes. The price has decreased since then to a more reasonable $5.99 but still that leaves the game in the higher price range on the iTunes app store.

Speaking of the story it’s completely gutted and truncated in spots as those who play the console versions can attest. This rears its ugly head in the later levels when the narrative accelerates and jumps like an out of control pogo stick that you actually are left feeling as if you might have slept through numerous cut scenes. Characters change motivations in a blink of an eye or disappear from the story entirely for no reason and the final boss fight descends upon you with no notice.

It all gives the feeling that perhaps the developers had many more levels planned for this version but had to cut things out due to time constraints. This feeling carries over to other aspects of the game. The sound effects for instance are usually one of the hallmarks of a Star Wars game and it doesn’t disappoint but it gets incredibly grating to hear the same music looping over and over. There are times that due to the pre-rendered backgrounds you can’t tell where your enemies are as there were a few screens I used force push but the enemies who were hurled offscreen took forever to walk back in range for me to get at them. Also, for a game meant to be played in short bursts on the go, I encountered a few points in the game such as a dialogue sequence before a boss fight that could not be skipped or fast-forwarded. This meant if you died you had to watch the same scene over and over again until you won. If you are pressed for time you might get extremely frustrated.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed is not close to being the iPhone’s killer app. The pre-rendered graphics are pleasant on the eye and the apprentice’s 3D model is adequate enough but it still does not feel anywhere to the hype that the phone can generate Playstation One level eye-candy. The game play will work for those looking for a relaxed experience but those wanting full control of motion better look elsewhere. With a short adventure, high price and suspect replay options the game works better as a graphical demo than a true gaming experience.

** out of ****

Developed by: Universomo
Published by: THQ Wireless Inc.
Released: 9/15/2008
Version: 1.0.11
Size: 20.2 MB

© 2009 The Galactic Pillow

Mumbai, 2006. Jamal Malik is one question away from winning 20 million rupees. How did he do it? A: He Cheated B: He’s Lucky C: He’s a genius D: It is written

Made for a paltry, by Hollywood standards, 15 million dollars, Danny Boyle’s Slumdog Millionaire is the feel good movie of the year that has seemingly come out of nowhere to entice and charm audiences from around the world. Boyle, most noted for his past work on science fiction thrillers 28 Days Later and Sunshine as well as the critically acclaimed Trainspotting staring Ewan McGregor is a surprise candidate for such subject matter but he pulls it off imbuing the movie with a near perfect recipe that is at times biting social commentary, tragic melodrama and gritty realism all enveloped in an age old parable of the powers of love and destiny.

The movie is told mainly in a series of flashbacks showing how a dirt poor Muslim orphan named Jamal Malik survived a tragic laden childhood and managed to eventually end up on India’s version of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire where he magically manages to answer questions that should elude a man of his station. His miracle run on the show draws the ire of the game show host who has the police pick him up for suspected cheating. Taken to a local police station he’s severely beaten and even electrocuted by the constables but doesn’t crack professing his innocence by recounting his life story and the events that led him to know the answers to all the show’s questions.

Director Boyle doesn’t shy away from showcasing all stratums of Indian society and as befits his humble upbringing Jamal’s past is riddled with much torment showcasing the sordid underbelly of society. The film has come under some criticism for displaying these less than honourable elements but Boyle and the other filmmakers should not be tarred and feathered for this as what is on display is universal and can happen in any corner of the globe.

That said, Boyle doesn’t pull any punches here from the harrowing mob massacre of a Muslim neighbourhood to the less than heroic gangster who picks up orphans and purposely maims them to work as blind beggars to earn more money this is society at its worst. Boyle makes his point by displaying these acts of depravity and brutal violence that undoubtedly scar Jamal, his brother Salim and Latika, an orphan girl, but serves as the origins of the trios’ friendship. From the beginning Jamal is the most timid, innocent boy who seemingly revels in life itself whereas his brother Salim plays his role as the big brother literally by becoming tough and jaded in order to protect them. However, it is young Latika whom Jamal is enamoured by from the very beginning in one of those “love at first sight” instances that transcends time.

Basically split into three eras, the movie focuses on the trio during their childhood then moves forward to their tween years and eventually finishes as it begins with them in their late teens / early twenties. The one constant throughout the years is Jamal’s undying devotion to Latika and though constantly rend apart he keeps vowing to finding and rescuing his love. Everything and everyone seems arrayed against Jamal’s quest yet he keeps persevering giving the film an enormous David and Goliath ambiance.

All this takes place against the backdrop of modern India, a country much like China that is rising from centuries of slumber to become an economic powerhouse on a path to reclaim their once prominent position in the world. This is a country in the early days of transition and Danny Boyle wastes no frame in displaying the monumental task at hand to raise the country from poverty into an International power. From the sprawling slums and the mountains of garbage that infest both land and water to towering new apartment complexes and shiny Mercedes Benz limousines this is a country that has a huge gap between those who have and those who can only worry about their next meal. While some live in almost excessive luxury the majority of the population rides trains that are so cramped people have to stand outside holding on to dear life or eke out existences in shanty towns that will bring a tear to most people watching the movie.

Still, the film is not called Slumdog Millionaire for nothing. Jamal is merely a gopher who works in a cellular call center yet through his steely will and penchant for truth he rises above his social station to win the hearts of the common man who see his performance on the show as a triumph of spirit and determination – they are living their lives vicariously through him.

Although Boyle showcases grim events not everything is so bone crushingly depressing as the movie contains more than enough wit and humour to lighten key moments and provide a welcome respite from the more dramatic underpinnings such as the scenes centering on how young Jamal and Salim pose as fake tour guides and manage to con and outwit tourists into giving them money.

Boyle manages to encapsulate a wide range of the subcontinent with breathtaking cinematography evoking awe and wonder at the many vistas of the Indian countryside to the gut wrenching ghettos made of rusting husks of corrugated steel and cold hard floors of dirt.

Though much of the credit goes to Boyle it must be said that all the thespians in their roles are utterly convincing and much kudos goes to the child actors playing the major roles who don’t fall into the trap of mugging needlessly for the camera or indulging in blatant attempts to look cute with puppy eyed innocence. These are not your usual roles that require perky children with a penchant for fast wit like Abigail Breslin in Little Miss Sunshine or doe-eyed cuteness like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. In fact, most of the horrendous side of humanity rears its ugly head while the trio are mere kids and though they still exude their innocence it quickly becomes tainted by adult machinations. The filmmakers have indeed accomplished this feat precisely because they managed to cast these roles from local children who actually live in these poorer areas and it shows in their realistically unsentimental performances.

Still the movie does jar and struggle a bit in its realism when we reach adulthood as our trio of characters are all played by Hollywood / Bollywood actors and actresses that seem a bit too middle class and well off then they should be. That is not to say their performances are unconvincing but watching dishevelled children in ratty clothing turn into fair maidens with perfect complexions replete with supermodel makeup is a bit hard to take. However, that is a minor concern especially since the movie focuses entirely on Jamal played by British actor Dev Patel who nails the character’s resolve and innocence in an understated performance that is sure to illicit much empathy from the audience. Here is a young man who has literally gone through hell and unlike his brother who embraces violence as a means to an end has managed to keep his wits and core beliefs intact no matter the costs.

What would a Bollywood movie be without its music? Slumdog Millionaire doesn’t make the mistake of hiring a Hollywood composer, although that might have worked but instead went and got celebrated Indian composer A.R.Rahman to pen the score and he hits it out of the park. From the beginning notes of “O....Saya” that turns quickly into frentic drums laced with haunting chorals and electric guitar riffs to the sombre yet romantic tune of “Latika’s Theme” the score manages to find incredible synergy with what is happening on screen right up to the requisite “Jai Ho” number that accompanies the massive dance sequence that completes the movie. Those who hate musicals and dancing shouldn’t worry as the number in question is there just for fun as an ode to one of Bollywood ‘s greatest assets and not part of the narrative. Then again, those who are well versed in Bollywood musicals will probably think that the one ending Slumdog Millionaire is merely average as it doesn’t really contain much dancing and features many cuts that seem to hide the fact that no one is really dancing in sequence.

Still, by the time the musical sequence begins it doesn’t really matter if Dev Patel can dance as the story has reached its emotional climax in a rousing sequence that brings the movie full circle from the opening question posited to the audience. When everything is said and done and through all the gut wrenching heartache and sacrifice, by the time Jamal gets to the final question we know intrinsically how it is going to end. This is not because the film does a bad job in masking its intent but precisely the opposite. It provides all the evidence that plays out before us that leads Jamal to his final answer. After all, it is written.

I have been going to movies for more than three decades now and the best feeling one can obtain comes when the cinema lights flash back on as the end credits roll. Although it is a personal feeling it is undoubtedly enhanced and given physical manifestation by the surrounding audience through the simple act of clapping. I’ve been in some movies where you could cut the air of disappointment with a single sheet of paper (here’s looking at you Alien 3) as you watch the audience slowly trudge and shuffle their way out the doors as if they were on their way to a funeral. Yet, you live for the moments like you get in those magical movies where just about everyone bursts out into spontaneous emotion clapping with joy from the heart as tears spew down cheeks. Slumdog Millionaire is one of those rare instances that I’ve noticed this which speaks volumes in its ability to touch a resonate chord in all who watch it.

Danny Boyle has created one of the most enthralling, gently touching, distressing and altogether gripping motion pictures of the past few years and it is one that would be criminal to miss.

**** out of ****

2008, UK/USA, 120 min, Fox Searchlight Pictures, R
Directed by Danny Boyle
Screenplay: Simon Beaufoy
Based on a book by Vikas Swarup
Producer: Christian Colson
Executive Producer: Tessa Ross, Paul Smith
Original Music by A.R. Rahman
Cinematography by Anthony Dod Mantle
Film Editing by Chris Dickens

Jamal Malik: Dev Patel
Prem Kumar: Anil Kapoor
Older Salim: Madhur Mittal
Sergeant Srinivas: Saurabh Shukla
Director: Rajendranath Zutshi
Vision Mixer: Jeneva Talwar
Latika: Freida Pinto
Police Inspector: Irrfan Khan
Youngest Salim: Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail
Youngest Jamal: Ayush Mahesh Khedekar
Amitabh Bachchan: Feroz Abbas Khan
Youngest Latika: Rubiana Ali
Middle Jamal: Tanay Hemant Chheda
Middle Salim: Ashutosh Lobo Gajiwala
Middle Latika: Tanvi Ganesh Lonkar

© 2009 The Galactic Pillow

Reminiscing about the past might be spurred by nostalgia about a certain place or event that happened in one’s life but it sometimes does have a negative side effect of re-evaluating said event. It happens to everyone. Things that you remember liking suddenly become sour with the passing of years. I vividly recall playing some video games that I thought had photorealistic graphics and proclaiming to the world that it would never be beaten in my lifetime! How could it get any better than Pac Man? Thankfully, I was very wrong. Playing those old games again made me realize the rose coloured glasses I had been wearing. I will always cherish those old memories and feelings but at least I can be more analytical now.

Journey to the Center of the Earth is one of those films that I might have liked if I was much younger. Say, a tender age of 10 or less. It’s full of action, humour, likeable actors and dinosaurs. I mean really, how can you go wrong with a T-Rex rampaging across the screen? Aimed at kids, the movie is more amusement ride than coherent retelling of Jules Verne’s seminal science fiction book.

Brandon Fraser plays Trevor Anderson, your typical scatterbrained university professor who has a penchant for saving coins in large jars and keeping his house in a state of perpetual clutter. A volcanologist by trade, Trevor is informed that his lab and his work will soon be repossessed and reassigned to a smirking compatriot. Upset at this turn of events things get even more complicated when his 13 year old nephew, Sean, played by John Hutcherson, is suddenly thrust upon him for the duration of his vacation.

By a stroke of luck the duo discover an old copy of Jules Verne’s Journey to the Center of the Earth and in it are written cryptic notes by Max, Trevor’s long lost brother and Sean’s dad. This find propels our heroes to fly to Iceland where they bumble upon Hannah, a guide who conveniently is the only daughter of a local professor who knew Max. Don’t you love it when things magically come together?

During a field trip the trio find themselves trapped in an underground cavern that, yet again conveniently, leads them to the “center of the earth.” Now, I don’t think I’m ruining the story for anyone as the title of the film basically gives the entire synopsis away.

Kids will probably revel in their journey as it unveils with numerous effects sequences. Older audiences though are going to be struck with a large wave of déjà vu as the movie takes great license in basically lifting these sequences from other popular movie franchises. There’s the ubiquitous mine cart ride as our trio screams and yells as the carts go careening through a maze that really makes little sense – since when would anyone design a system that resembles more a gigantic roller coaster than functional strip mine? Then there’s the lost at sea on a rickety raft set piece where thunder, lighting, high winds and crashing waves appear as if on cue. To be fair, this movie throws in carnivorous fish which I haven’t seen before in such a sequence. I already mentioned the rampaging T-Rex but there’s also your man eating Venus fly traps and floating rocks that have to be traversed over a deep chasm.

This makes the movie feel like a cheap imitation of other films and the exposition linking these scenes together falls only into two categories: 1) Light comedy highlighted by childish banter between our heroes 2) Minimalist exposition on their predicament also buttressed by childish banter between our heroes. Just about every piece of dialogue is either a setup line or the payoff joke. It gets increasingly irritating as this verbal back and forth goes on without a significant break. The only solemn part of the movie actually seems completely out of place since the comedy routine is broken for a scant few minutes.

Journey To The Center of the Earth was filmed with 3D technology and heavily marketed to highlight this selling point. Even if you watch this in regular 2D the camera shots and angles where the 3D elements should be are incredibly telegraphed. I realize that the director, Eric Brevig, is shooting this film with 3D in mind but there’s not even one original shot that utilizes the 3D effect well. Instead we get endless shots that don’t even affect the story but are meant to just shock the audience into thinking something is coming straight at them like the mouth of the T-Rex or as infantile as Brandon Fraser spitting out water right into the camera. You might shudder if you see a yo-yo fly towards you but it in no way effects the story in the least.

Since this is targeted at kids don’t expect any realism whatsoever as every law of physics and momentum does not apply. It is as if these characters don’t exist in our known universe. People fall what appears to be kilometres without a scratch and those blasted mine carts are going so fast you expect them to pop off the rails at every corner. Characters that should be roasted by hot steam or molten lava just sweat and in Hannah’s case, luminously glow. It is obvious the film’s only goal is to make kids laugh with glee. Then again my intrepid wife quite vocally pointed out that our heroes were quickly losing their clothing as the movie dragged on. Now if this were not a kid’s film...

For a film so heavily reliant on special effects it must be said that they aren’t very special. Now I did only see this movie in the 2D Blu-Ray edition but there were many instances where colours were washed out, with excessive blurs and smears and even the video quality felt like broadcast TV. It’s obvious, save for a few locations, that the whole movie has been shot on a soundstage as a few settings are barely above Star Trek level – that’s the original Star Trek from the 60’s. I almost expected to catch glimpses of barely hidden men swinging the giant Venus Fly traps back and forth that should be menacing but seem more like the plants are dancing in preparation for a luau. The big effects sequences were oddly blocked with some questionable green screen work which made characters feel totally disconnected with their backgrounds.

If you don’t buy into the action then there’s not much else to hang on to. Brandon Fraser channels his usually dopey but fun personality while Anita Briem as Hannah is mere eye candy. About the only element of her casting that is mildly fascinating is that she is in fact Icelandic which, I suppose, is meant to give her more weight as her character also comes from the same country. Then again, Hannah, her character, is the butt of a lot of odd romantic overtones from both Trevor and his nephew Sean. This is expected from the adult Trevor but when Sean calls, “Dibs on the mountain guide,” it’s slightly off-putting. This quasi-macho rivalry over Hannah drags on for huge chunks of the movie even when it is obvious she is falling for the goofy professor. Then again, this is a kid’s movie and I can think of a hundred agencies that would be up in arms if it was even hinted that she and the 13 year old kid had anything going for each other making the inclusion of this plot device wholly unconvincing.

The script never deviates from its light-hearted tone even when things look grim. Everyone is so incessantly cheery and full of confidence that their predicament is no big deal. It’s like one giant picnic except it takes place kilometres under the ground, in a cavern surrounded by molten lava, flammable hot searing gas, man-eating wildlife and gigantic fungi. Oh, I can’t forget the Disney-esque blue birds that glow in the dark, one of which actually seems to understand human speech. If this were animated it might be more palatable. Still, it is definitely good to know a sentient race of glowing birds are our friends if we ever fall down a large hole in the ground. I pity the school teacher who inevitably has to clean up this apparent logic in the classroom.

My advice, if your children really want to see this movie you can be rest assured that the violence is minimal and that they should be entertained for its curt running time. Meanwhile, adults can be free to embark on more pressing activities like washing the laundry, painting the house or getting a root canal. Really, it’s time much better spent as no amount of rose coloured glasses is going to make this movie more than a lump of coal.

*1/2 out of ****

2008, USA, 93 minutes, PG-13, New Line Cinema
Directed by Eric Brevig
Screenplay by Michael D. Weiss, Jennifer Flackett, Mark Levin
Based on a book by Jules Verne
Produced by Beau Flynn, Cary Granat, Charlotte Huggins
Executive Producers: Cale Boyter, Michael Disco, Brendan Fraser, W. Mark McNair, Alex Schwartz, Evan Turner, Tripp Vinson
Original Music by Andrew Lockington
Cinematography by Chuck Shuman
Film Editing by Steven Rosenblum, Paul Martin Smith, Dirk Westervelt

Prof. Trevor Anderson: Brendan Fraser
Sean Anderson: Josh Hutcherson
Hannah Ásgeirsson: Anita Briem
Professor Alan Kitzens: Seth Meyers
Max Anderson: Jean Michel Paré
Elizabeth Anderson: Jane Wheeler

© 2009 The Galactic Pillow

It is admittedly sometimes really awkward to write reviews about any entertainment vehicle, be it video games or movies, which are so obviously not geared to your particular age group or demographic. Parents see this all the time with their kids. You always wonder what is going on in their minds as they see Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana bouncing around or Pikachu blasting lightning in the newest Pokemon cartoon. What about those husbands that have been dragged on dates to see their spouses' latest chick flick like Sex in the City? Conversely, what about wives who go and see their husbands rolling on the floor laughing at Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanomo Bay?

That is not to say that you cannot enjoy entertainment not directed at your age or gender. It just merely means that you are not part of the developer's target demographic. Pixar animated films are great examples of this as they have garnered a hard-earned reputation of having movies appeal to all age groups and gender.

Which brings us to Disney Fairies Fly, an iPhone game based on Disney's Tinker Bell movie. Now, I'm not a girl nor am I remotely close to the age group this is meant for yet here I am reviewing this game. However, I have to say, I am a video game lover. It doesn't matter what you put in front of me, I'll still play it. I'm looking at you Hello Kitty games! As a side note, Hello Kitty Online is coming and I'm sure my wife is going to make the temporary jump from World of Warcraft to the land of the super cute feline. Also, I must admit, Tinker Bell is actually not so bad an effort for a straight to video Disney project. Kudos goes to John Lasseter for that but I digress -- you can check my Tinker Bell movie review for more information.

So back to Disney Fairies Fly. This is a game targeted to girl gamers below the age of 10. Parents should immediately be delighted to know that there is, of course, no violence whatsoever and that the whole experience is decidedly family friendly. Your goal is remarkably simple. The game is broken down into five stages linked to different areas of the fairy kingdom although at the start of the game you only have access to Spring Valley. Each stage comprises three levels which you must complete before you can proceed to the next stage. At the start of each stage you are given a choice of five (later six) fairy characters all based on the movie: Tinkerbell, Silvermist, Fawn, Iridessa, and Rosetta.

It does not really matter who you use as they all control the same way using a combination of the iPhone`s acclerometer and touch screen. Tilting the phone up makes you character fly towards the top of the screen. Tilting down does the reverse and makes your character fly towards the bottom. You have access to a dash button on the bottom right of the screen that will give your selected fairy a slight speed boost.

So what exactly is this game about? Simply put, using the aforementioned controls you are tasked to guide your fairy through the level all the while picking up objects in the form of screws, flowers, or orbs of different colours. Each successful object you pick up gains you points towards your score. The game throws obstacles in your way that you must avoid such as flying birds, bees, trees, reeds, rocks etc. If your fairy hits any of these her health (pixie power) will decrease. Hit too many of these and your game will end. Scattered somewhere in each level is a single health powerup that will restore some of your lost pixie power. The game is actually not very forgiving with these obstacles as even touching any of them with your chosen fairies`feet will cause you to lose pixie strength.

So what`s next? Nothing. That`s all the game is about for every single level, every single stage. All you need to do is fly successfully through to the end of the level whereby you proceed to the next one. There`s absolutely nothing else to do except repeat levels to get a higher score. Each of the levels can be completed in about 2-3 minutes and the overall game length comes in at about 20-30 minutes depending on your dexterity. Now I realize that is a miniscule amount of play time but take that with a grain of salt as I`m a veteran gamer and no where close to the target demographic. I`m assuming kids below ten might take a bit longer but I wouldn`t underestimate them too much as I`m sure they can barrel through this game with ease.

That brings me to the conclusion that this game is really made for the wrong platform. The Nintendo DS would make much better sense since I can`t see too many children who have their very own iPhones. This is more of the case where a parent would buy this game and just lend it to their kids to keep them temporarily occupied. Indeed the Nintendo DS does indeed have its own version of the game but it is different with many other activities and mini-games. The iPhone version seems to have been watered down to the very basics.

Being a Disney produced game it does have decent production values. All the fairies are more or less well animated and the hand drawn backgrounds from all stages are striking with a fairy tale flair to them. Music and sound effects are pleasant enough. However, the game play is totally stripped to the bare bones which is not too surprising since it is aimed at kids. Just about anyone else is going to find this offering to be completely minimalist. You can`t even move left or right horizontally on the board unless you use the dash function. I`m going to admit that I never used the dash even once and although I hit an object and got hurt it didn`t impede me at all since the game is generally so easy. The difficulty does show signs of ramping up as the stages progress but all that amounts to is a couple more obstacles thrown at you.

Like I said earlier this is not a game made for a 30+ year old die hard gamer. It`s squarely for kids and though I can`t fault Disney for doing this it doesn't mean that the end product is remotely acceptable for anyone but the youngest toddler. At $4.99 it is hard to recommend to anyone except those parents who are brave enough to lend their spanking new iPhones to their kids to mess around with.

** out of ****

Developer: Disney Mobile Studios
Publisher: Disney Mobile Studios
Released: 11/24/08
Version: 1.0.3
Size: 39.5 MB

© 2009 The Galactic Pillow